Re: Life…

May 11 2007

Its starting to feel like I am living life the way it was meant to be lived.
In no way does that mean everything is roses, but it is a peace that is hard to explain.

Besides, roses come with thorns.

(here are five bands you need to check out:

a) +/- (plus/minus)

b) Future of Forestry

c) Lost Ocean

d) The Sea & Cake

e) This Holiday Life

So now, go use myspace for what is was meant for and find some new good music)

Anyway, back to the original thought….

It seems almost as if my life for the past year was just a shadow of what it could be.

To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, it was as if I was “content to play in the mud because I was disinterested in the offer of a week in the Bahamas.”*

I had become far too easily pleased, too entangled in aimless pursuits.

In a sense I had lost the bigger picture.

I’m sure part of this had to do with the overwhelming amount classes I was taking, but all the blame cannot be placed there.

No, all the blame lies on my shoulders, just like it does for everyone else.

However, my vision is being renewed, and the past year can best be used as a reminder.

Anyway, my night in all of its glory consisted of me running sound for a date night for the marriage class at our church.

Which made me the only single person in the whole building.

But, I really had nothing better to do, at least nothing that involved anyone else.

Now this may stand in stark contrast to the way this blog started, however…

The opening line still rings true.

Single or not, it really makes no difference.

As I go to bed having spent the majority of the night alone in annonymity (except for a brief trip to Turkey Creek)…

Everything feels right.

Would it have been nice to have shared the night with the company of a young lady?

Sure.

Is it necessary in order to enjoy life and feel fulfilled?

Definately not.

Learning contentment in whatever lot your life becomes is not easy, but if you can do it, it makes everything else infinitely more enjoyable.

Nothing can steal my joy.

Does that mean my life will be full of serious awesomeness all the time?

No, it just means eventful or not, everything is golden.

Now about that going to bed thing….

*The full quote from the C.S. Lewis’ article entitled the Weight of Glory is this: “We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

 

There’s No Time Like The Present…

May 5 2007

…but the past has its moments.
I suppose I am completely back at this point.

Previously, I was present bodily, but my mind was still elsewhere.

However, now I have managed to wrangle it in, as it is much too small to be out on its own.

Anyway…

The road trip is over, but in some ways, its effect will live on.

If nothing else, it confirmed an obviously needed change in direction, as in many ways not only did I travel in space but in time as well.

Before dismissing this as preposterous, hear me out.

Obviously I lengthened the spacial distance between myself and in anyone in Knoxville…

…but by reconnecting with friends my the near recent past, it was very much like time travel.

Starting in Lynchburg, I met a lot of friends from my first year of school in Florida, circa 2003-2004.

Then I met up with friends from my second year away at school in New York.

The apex of it all was when I returned to the campus in New York, only to find it had not substantially changed at all since I left.

Even the weather was eeriely similar to the fall when I first started school there in 2005.

Had I been wearing clothes from that same time period, I may as well have been in 2005, as everything was identical.

An interesting movie on this idea is “Somewhere in Time” and while the plot is somewhat flawed, it is still an interesting concept.

Not seeing anyone as well as no one being aware of my presense as I walked the campus there in New York, in many ways I ceased to exist in time.

Or rather, my existence in a chronogical location ceased to be provable.

That is, until I recieved a phone call…

And all at once, I returned to the present…the moment lost, but not forgotten.

In many ways, that night in New York, I was as far away as one could be from anything and anyone known in the present.

Looking back only confirmed my new shift in direction as being long overdue and increased my anticipation for it to fully take effect.

Rather than staying vague on this, I might as well elaborate now…

Several weeks ago, once school subsided enough for me to look around and assess my life, I realized I didn’t like very much, if any of it.

Almost everything was not only less than ideal, but less than desirable.

Rather than remain discontent, and not do anything about it other than bemoan the issue, I decided to change things.

So, I quit my internship which wasn’t really working for either the church or myself.

I jumped on the offer to accept a promotion to shift supervisor at work, which proved to be largely more fulfilling and is a much better fit.

I broke up with Carrie, which you can read about it an earlier blog, but which  happened for much the same reason as the termination of the internship.

I applied to go to Dallas Theological Seminary in August, and got accepted 4 days later.

I finished up the bulk of my degree and put an end to a chapter in my life that was necessary, but not necessarily enjoyable.

And then I left for Virginia et al. and had the most enjoyable, fulfilling 11 days of 2007 so far.

The finished product?

In 3 months…

I will live in another state…

go to another school…

work in a different position at a different Starbucks, and…

interact with a new and entirely different set of people.

Will I miss those I’ve gotten to know around here?

Of course.

But I could not be more ready, or more excited to leave…

…and start becoming who I’ve always been meant to be