Brewing Bold

September 20, 2007 — 1 Comment

At this point, there are no less than a few potential blogs brewing, however, to further the coffee analogy (since that’s all there is right?) they are all in different stages, and not more than a couple have made it to funnel lock, which if you have operated the Bunn brewers at Starbucks, you realize the implications of funnel lock.

Soon enough, there will be more than a venti cup of thought to drink down and hopefully excite the nervous system not quite unlike caffeine.

For now, a general review might help, I mean after all, the art of interpretation involves knowing the context of the writer (me) so it might help to know what’s been going on recently.

The short version is that I now live in Dallas, rather permanently, and am still unfortunately working at Starbucks, but by the grace of God (in every sense of the phrase) am now attending Dallas Theological Seminary working towards my Masters of Theology (Th.M)  and eventually, probably some level of doctoral work. But with 120 hours of credits to work on at the moment, that should keep me busy for no less than 4 years.

The long version is probably of less interest to most, and quite possibly may not be able to be fully put into words, but other than the external obvious changes, several qualitative internal changes are on the horizon, which here in Dallas at least, can be obscured by the smog. I am aware at least of a maturation taking place, but as to what shape it will take…well, it is as a poor reflection in a mirror, but soon I will see what I’ve become face to face.

This is probably the most proactive I have been in, well, ever. Knowing where I am prone to wander, and knowing that I have been prone to absent-minded lethargy during the autumn months, I am hoping to have some sense of a headstart this time around, by staying on top of assignments and reading specifically, as well as figuring out how best to structure my time and setting up meetings with various faculty to get advice on direction and the like. Needless to say, it is not the formula to a flawless semester, but it is leaps and bounds ahead of mindlessly floating through the semester from one assignment to the next, not really learning anything or exploring any subject in further detail.

However, for me this is different. This is coming out of my pocket, both now, and when the loans stop being deferred, and honestly, this is what I nearly killed myself getting through that Liberty online nonsense to be able to study. In that sense, the process is the goal. To be here studying theology and bible and philosophy is what I’ve wanted to do for a few years now. In light of that, there is really no time constraints, there is no “hurrying up to graduate to get on with my life.” This is my life now, not that its the end to which I think I have been created, but in a very real sense, I was made to be here. Here as in Dallas Theological Seminary, studying the Bible, being trained and molded for ministry, but at the same time, being active in ministry all along the way. There is no longer a “down the road.” There is only the here and now, that is redeemable either for good or for evil. I am living in the moment so to speak, but with eyes towards to the future to stay on track and to make sure that I am not running in vain, not that I have already attained, but I strive to lay hold of that for which Jesus has laid a hold of me.

Bottom line: This is what makes me come alive.

Now, if I could just stop consuming Phish Food and Chipotle burritos in mass quantities, I might actually stay alive, or at least in good health while I am alive.

So there you have it, the slightly abbreviated version of what’s new. I’m sure more details will be filled in along the way, but for now, this will have to do.

Back in the saddle….

September 18, 2007 — 4 Comments

It seems in some odd way, I need a blog to think straight.

I first started using Xanga back when I went away to college the first time, circa 2003, down in good old Hudson, Florida. It was quite the phenomena on the Word of Life campus, both down in Florida and also the following year up in New York.

It wasn’t too long after I had been back home from 2nd year that I discovered Myspace, and 6 months or so later, converted to blogging from there. It was good catharsis at times, but also provided a public forum to express ideas, tell stories, and generally put thoughts into writing for friends to read.

Myspace unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your personal outlook) wore out its welcome over the course of this last summer, and it summarily got itself deleted. This was a step in the right direction, however, it left me without means to think out loud so to speak.

Enter Word Press.

Rather than recreate a Myspace, which ultimately would probably get deleted again, or restart a Xanga that would not probably get read, it was time for a new endeavor, and after a professor here at DTS gave me his card with his blog site on it, the only logical conclusion was to join the big leagues and once again refresh my mind by writing pointless anecdotes and overly philosophic explanations of life, much to my amusement at least.

So, hopefully this will be kept up quite regularly, and for those interested in keeping up, here is the place to start (phone calls can work as well).  Anyway, seeing as how opening at Starbucks now involves getting up at 4am, and there is an episode of Arrested Development calling my name, this will conclude my re-entry into blogland.

…than to stay here for too much longer.

I do tend to exaggerate things a bit, but it really is a wasteland here.

I need the trips to Florida every now and then to put things into perspective.

Good times, old friends, nostalgia highs, and mended fences.

What else could you want from a road trip to Florida?

Nothing significant has transpired since I last wrote here.

I have starting (or restarted rather) keeping a real pen and paper journal, so my blogs will probably diminish somewhat.

I’ve spent too much time backing down from controversy.

Maybe a few enigmatic statements could shake things up.

My journey through the desert is almost complete

An oasis appeared,

But soon became clear

The water, in fact, dust,

My mouth though, sewn shut,

Left me unrefreshed,

In fact, blinded instead,

And it is only by grace that now I can see.

Anyway, t-minus 3 weeks and counting.

…for another blog

However, what I really want to say, I can’t get into right now.

Not because there is not time, I would just rather use the time before I retire for other things.

Like reading.

Something that has been consuming me in a good way lately, as opposed to other things in the near recent past.

Which were total wastes of time.

But this is not the time of the place for a digression of that sort.

In addition, anything I say about that will mostly be venting, something better done in private.

Moving on….

….or not quite yet.

My intuition has yet to fail me, however, I quite frequently fail my intuition.

As such, there are times when I know I am making a bad decision, but choose to make it anyway.

And then successfully rationalize away my gut instinct to quell the anxiety that ensues.

However, if nothing else, I have learned the value of not necessarily being guided by my intuition, but being more acutely aware of it.

Could have saved myself a lot of trouble by doing that about this time last year, but sometimes you have to make mistakes.

All the same, I would just assume avoid making an obviously wrong choice next time around.

Maybe I will seek out advice before making the decision, as opposed to after digging my self in almost too deep to come out.

If anything this is good catharsis, regardless of any controversy that results from it.

Oh catharsis, how I’ve missed you! You must stop by more often, I could use a friend.

Even of a temporary sort such as yourself.

I’m not the best at keeping in touch anyway, so anything long term would not work out for either of us, but just the same…thanks for stopping by.

Anyway, enough personification (especially as poorly done as mine).

I should probably wrap this up, there are several good books and a small stuffed elephant and dolphin calling my name.

Its been quite the last 12 months, I am glad I snapped out of it in time to salvage some of the time I have left before departure.

Narrowly avoiding the mistake of a lifetime changes your perspective quite a bit, but I wouldn’t recommend the process.

At least not to everyone, sometimes the stubborn ones can only learn that way.

But I’m speaking of my own shortcomings, anyway, this is slowly turning into a ramble, but again…its good for me.

So, next time, I’ll try to be a little more positive, a little more philosophical, and as always, a little more pedantic (or at least a little more pensive)

One thing the next blog will not have is panache, you can at least count on me for that.

I promise.

 

Blog post from four years ago today

Continue Reading...

Re: Life…

May 11, 2007 — Leave a comment

May 11 2007

Continue Reading...

May 5 2007

Continue Reading...