Determining Your Reformed Quotient

February 25, 2011 — 7 Comments

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In their Younger, Restlesser, Reformeder, Ted Kluck and Zach Bartels offer the necessary equation to figuring out your true Reformed street cred, or as they call it, your Reformed Quotient. Hopefully you can tell from the cover on the right this a work of satire, but just in case, this is very short little book making light of the stereotypes that people like me can fall into. A lot of people these days are jumping on the New Calvinist band wagon, and even people that aren’t hop ons still can have somewhat predictable tastes in books, media, and other cultural choices.

I decided to take their original equation and modify it slightly so that you that are interested can establish with some degree of mathmatical precision how Reformed you are. Here it is:

RB (= 1/2CW + PR + 2PP) + Ch(Rf x Ad²) + RCL + CCC + BC + GR + ALP(²) + RSW -10(TV) – 20(RW) – ($TBN/10) – (xWB) – 10Em = RQ

Probably needs some explanation doesn’t it? Ok, so here’s what the terms mean:

  • RB = Reformed books you own, 1/2 pt for each Crossway title, 1 pt for each P&R Publishing title, and 2 pts for each Puritan Paperback from Banner of Truth Trust (Note: this is my own formula)
  • Ch(Rf x Ad²) = Number of children you have times the number of ones named after a Reformation personality times number of adopted children squared (remember to do the math inside the parenthesis first)
  • RCL = Reformed conference lanyards you possess (Passion doesn’t count)
  • CCC(²) = Creeds, confessions, catechisms you subscribe to (square if they are memorized)
  • BC = weekly average of blog comments you submit on other blogs + weekly average of comments on your own blog (this is an alteration of mine)
  • GR = number of Reformed blogs you’ve subscribed to in your Google Reader (or similar, this is my addition as well)
  • APL(²) = number of Apple products you own (square if you also own an e-reader and have Bible software, like Logos installed on more than one Apple product)
  • RSW = number of Reformed sermons or podcasts you listen to weekly
  • -10(TV) = subtract 10 if you have cable
  • -20 (RW) = subtract 20 if you unironically like Rick Warren, Joel Osteen, or any other mega church pastor who is not Reformed (or not Reformed enough in your opinion)
  • – ($TBN/10) = subtract the number of dollars you’ve ever pledged to TBN divided by 10
  • – (xWB) = subtract the number of times you’ve been watchblogged
  • -10(EM) = subtract the number of years spent in your Emergent phase times 10

Anything else you think we should add? I’ll post my score sometime later.

UPDATE: Thanks to Matt for the suggestions on Apple/Logos and sermons/podcasts

UPDATE: I got an 80 on this, which to put in perspective, here’s the scale (I altered 21-50, but the rest come from the book):

  • < 0 = if you’re elect, that’s news even to God
  • 1-5 = you’re probably just reading this to trash it later on your emergent blog
  • 6-20 = Enjoy the climbing wall and gourmet coffee bar at your megachurch. You’re not fooling anyone
  • 21-50 = You’ve got potential, but you need to kick it up a notch. Spend more time trolling the blogosphere, spend some money at Monergism or Westminster (see links to the right) and it’s probably time to add the L to your TULIP
  • 51-100 = What do you think of someone who just does the bare minimum? Seriously what do you think? Minus 10 more points if you get that reference
  • 100-200 = You’ve probably spoken or led a breakout session at a regional reformed conference. Congratulations! Things are looking up for you. Have you considered submitting a book proposal? We know you’ve got 50,000 words stashed away somewhere that you’ve never told anyone about. Maybe you can recycle some old blog posts.

Nate

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I’m an avid reader, musician, and high school Bible teacher living in central Florida. I have many paperback books and our house smells of rich glade air freshners. If you want to know more, then let’s connect!

7 responses to Determining Your Reformed Quotient

  1. I think it’s fairly well known that the more Apple and Logos products you own the more reformed you are. Also the amount of reformed pod/vodcasts subscribed to. Not sure how all that fits into the equation though.

  2. Accordance > Logos… on a Mac. Bible Works > Logos on everything else.

    Also, I don’t have time to do the math… or at least, I don’t have time to do the math well. Can I estimate?

    • Nope, has to be legit math, no estimates.

      Not a fan of Logos eh? All my profs use Accordance, but they all also have Macs. Maybe one day I’ll switch, but Logos > Bibleworks. Or, in reality the argument is my opinion > your opinion. My library in Logos is almost as large as my library on the shelf and from what I’ve seen of Bibleworks, it can’t do half the business Logos does. But some people do still prefer it and there’s nothing wrong with that

  3. I have a Mac, thus I have Accordance. I think that all of the programs are designed with slightly different ideas, but I have not used any of them extensively.

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